Life happens, good shit, bad shit. It happens. The only thing you can control in this world is how you are going to respond to that shit happening. THAT is OUR super power.
It’s been 10 years since the ACL injury / surgery / recovery – that event changed the trajectory of my life.
From being quite an active person, playing volleyball a couple times a week and getting walks and fetches in with the dog, to recovering and unable to continue my usual activities. Instead of trying to find new ways to stay involved and active, I gave up. Sat on the couch and played video games or watched movies and drank, way too much.
Coping was escaping, the instant gratification to the troubles I was going through. Partly due to the nature of the injury, it was quite substantial, causing my leg to atrophy to almost nothing. But mostly, due to giving up. Early 30’s and I thought my active days were going to be behind me. I can not understate the emotional strain that gets applied in a situation like this. To this day, I still have a fear of heights while standing, at an almost subconscious level my mind isn’t trusting my leg.
You never know when life changing events are coming, it is how you respond to those situations that ultimately is what changes you.
Eventually I started working with a Physical Therapist, who started to build some confidence back into me. Once my sessions were completed, I decided to join a gym, to continue the PT routine and add in some additional work. At this point, I hated how I looked, and wanted to start making some changes.
After a few months at the gym, I decided to try a treadmill run as a warmup to lifting. I had been just starting to run outside at this point, 1 to 2 miles tops, but it was a start. The knee was handling it well enough, and I figured it was a good way to get ready to lift. What I didn’t expect, was that my treadmill sessions would slowly start to become the majority of the workout. There was something enjoyable about it, that I couldn’t quite identify, but with a little encouragement, I stumbled upon a life changing activity.
Of course a ton of shit has happened since that day. I’ve somehow been able to push this body well past anything I previously thought was possible. Choosing to set out upon this journey was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. But now it feels like we’re circling back around.
An MRI this week will be determining the future course of action for me.
My ankles haven’t been the same since the 100 at Marji. A few weeks ago I had my first DNF at Arktos due to the pain in my ankle. So, it’s time to start letting the pro’s do their job. Which leaves me with a few options.
- I’ll need surgery and shouldn’t continue, as it’ll risk permeant injury
- I’ll need surgery to continue
- I’m pushing too hard and need to scale it back
This year’s race lineup includes another 100 miler, in June. Already, this is a race that may not happen for me, with a possible major issue, it’s very doubtful to happen.
But.
The important thing is the response to that news. Can I race? Do I rest? Am I done running? The answer could be life changing for sure. I don’t have control over that part.
What I do have control over, is how I respond.
I can choose to respond how I want. And I fully intend to continue pushing this body to the edge for as many years as I have left. Time will continue it’s relentless march, that’s unavoidable. But. I can certainly live each day, love each moment, and choose the path I want.
Without this injury I would never be in the place I am today. It is humbling and amazing what events can become motivation for a lasting lifestyle change. What an incredible 10 year journey it has been since then!!
The point is to choose how to respond. There are things you can’t control, but your response is something you can control. The important part is the choice, and every single one of us gets to make that choice about how things will affect us, and in response, how we effect others in similar situations.
Rob Hoehn 